


Reminiscence (Tsuioku)

by MidoriKurenaiYume



Series: Melody of Light (Hikari no Senritsu) [2]
Category: Fate/Zero, Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Dark, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Assassins & Hitmen, Dialogue, F/M, Falling In Love, Prequel, on a mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-18
Updated: 2017-12-18
Packaged: 2019-02-13 12:55:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,044
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12984534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MidoriKurenaiYume/pseuds/MidoriKurenaiYume
Summary: Gilgamesh met and fell in love with fellow spy Arturia when on a mission to retrieve some stolen files.(prequel to Märchen)





	Reminiscence (Tsuioku)

**Author's Note:**

> I recommend reading Märchen first, so this fic will make more sense, as it takes place about three and a half years before. It's also entirely in Gilgamesh's POV.  
> The title comes from a Kalafina song, B-side of their 14th single. I used the translation provided by the canta-per-me forum :)

…

~~.O.~~

…

Kirei had been as clear and direct as usual in his orders, even though Gilgamesh did not like them one bit and therefore tuned his voice out after a while.

Having to work with someone else was vexing in the first place, but to have it be one of Kiritsugu’s own agents was simply preposterous. He knew that Kiritsugu and Kirei despised each other, and only the unavoidable necessity of retrieving those stolen files had made them find an extremely reluctant truce.

When Gilgamesh met the other agent for the first time, he didn’t feel anything aside from boredom. He was rather certain that he was going to end up doing the work on his own anyway, therefore he didn’t bother even acknowledging her as she introduced herself as Arturia. He had already known her name, and she had probably known his too, therefore this civility was pointless.

He just wasn’t interested in her presence, nor did he care about her capabilities; after all, it seemed rather unlikely to him that someone as good-looking as her could be a decent agent.

It was far more likely that Kiritsugu had saddled him with a useless deadweight.

…

~~.O.~~

…

He took care of the formalities of their fake IDs swiftly, being used to such things. Then he rented a small apartment far enough from the building they needed to break into, choosing it however in a way that would give them very good view of the entrance, from above, so that they could begin studying the routine and the habits of the security personnel.

He had expected her to complain about the arrangements or the close living quarters – he immediately found out, to his displeasure, that the bed in his room was not as comfortable as he would have liked it to be – that they were going to have to share for at least a few months. He would have much preferred to do the job on his own, but he could not get rid of her without creating nuisances at his organization, and if he did, Kirei would not shut up about it for weeks. Gilgamesh was fed up with the mongrel as it was, there was no need to provide him with more excuses to annoy him.

However, to his slight surprise, she did not say a word, only gave him a nod before leaving briefly to run some errands. She came back soon enough, with detailed maps of the area and a rough outline of the building’s layout that she had started to sketch based on the position of the windows and the glimpses they had gotten from outside.

Gilgamesh was grudgingly impressed by her diligence; it was indeed best for them to know the area very well, so to be able to use it to their advantage and even plan routes of escape in case something went wrong.

Nevertheless, as he reminded himself when he realized that he was risking actually feeling some admiration for her, the fact that she was meticulous in gathering information didn’t necessarily mean that she was intelligent.

…

~~.O.~~

…

It was strange to see how this extraordinarily dedicated woman behaved, as living in a small apartment together with her for a couple of weeks had already made him familiar with her habits. She liked to get up early in the morning, she scrupulously went through physical training every day and she had an insatiable appetite, which was the most surprising thing about her since she was so small and delicate looking.

What he couldn’t help noticing, however, was that there was steel in her though, not just politeness.

She also did not speak much nor without reason, and that at least was something he could appreciate. He would have lost his patience and probably attempted to kill her if she had been the type to waste time in useless chatter.

The fact that she wasn’t a very talkative person didn’t however mean that she said nothing at all, and again he could appreciate this. She usually spoke only about their mission, relaying to him the information she had gathered when it was her turn to watch the incriminated building; nevertheless, a couple of times she mentioned a few details her agency had given her.

The way she spoke about her boss was neutral, but by the slight tightening of her jaw, it didn’t take him long to realize that for some reason, while she didn’t seem to hate Kiritsugu, she certainly wasn’t fond of him.

It was not something that truly mattered to him; therefore, he decided to simply ignore such an observation.

…

~~.O.~~

…

When they went on their preliminary operation – during which they had to scout the building from outside in person – they were spotted by a suspicious guard, who started to come over to address them.

Before Gilgamesh lost his patience with the idiot, Arturia discreetly shot the man with a tranquilizer dart containing a light poison, which was going to make him a bit disoriented and forgetful for the following couple of days.

Gilgamesh would have had plenty of time to shoot him himself, and had in fact been about to do so, therefore when they were back at the apartment, he told Arturia as much.

“There was no need for you to shoot the mongrel when I was perfectly capable of doing the same.”

He did not pronounce his words with anger, but there was an underlying threat in his tone: if she tried to intervene in matters that weren’t strictly pertaining to herself, he was going to make her suffer the consequences for it.

“I’m aware of that,” she replied evenly, holding his gaze as she did so. “Yet however much you may dislike me, we are partners on this mission, and that means that we have to work together. I intend to do so to the fullest of my abilities, and that includes taking care of our common enemies when they are posing a danger.”

For the first time since meeting her, he stared at her intently, taking in her firm, confident countenance and her almost surreal determination. After a very long silence, he turned away to check on his equipment.

She clearly believed they were done talking, at least until he unexpectedly spoke again.

“You are too amusing to be dislikeable, Arturia.”

…

~~.O.~~

…

Being always indoors and merely observing a building could become taxing after a while, but Gilgamesh was slightly amused by the fact that it did not seem to be the case for them.

As they became more familiar with the guards’ turns and the security of the place, he found himself staring at Arturia more often. Never in a way that she would notice or inquire about, but despite himself, had he certainly become more aware of her presence, although he did not allow that to distract him from their task.

When they found out that there were hidden security cameras at every entrance of the building, he mentioned his friend Enkidu.

“Enkidu is incredibly skilled with IT, he will manage to disable the cameras. However,” he added, “we will have to keep him off the record when we write the report.”

Seeing the guarded look she gave him, he made the effort of explaining curtly, “For his safety. He’s a civilian.”

Her green eyes, which had been eyeing him with slight mistrust, cleared up, and she nodded.

Gilgamesh felt confident enough in giving her such an information, because he had recognized her trustworthiness. He knew that accepting his word like this wasn’t very wise on her part, but he could understand that, not having given her a reason to doubt him until now, she would begin to be a bit more friendly towards him.

Besides, as much as he inwardly questioned his sanity, he had to recognize that he did not feel the remotest desire to break or exploit her tentative trust in him. He would have usually asked Enkidu to research her by hacking Kiritsugu’s archives, but he had found out that he much preferred learning more about her through direct observation.

He was beginning to like this woman a little too much.

…

~~.O.~~

…

During their second preliminary operation, they were able to test whether or not Enkidu was capable of turning off the cameras, and everything seemed to go smoothly. They were able to take advantage of the guards’ rotation well, and weren’t spotted this time around.

When they returned to the apartment, it was already dark, therefore they could no longer keep watching the building.

She was taken aback, however, when he suddenly addressed her with an odd question.

“Do you ever think about quitting your job?”

Gilgamesh had observed her intently during the day, and had seen the way she wielded her gun. She was obviously used to holding one, was skilful with it and he knew that her aim was close to perfect, yet there had been an unmistakable reluctance in her actions as well.

It had not been hesitation though, and it had therefore taken him a while to realize that the reason for her reluctance was that she wasn’t fond of using a weapon meant to kill people. And that could only imply that she disliked killing.

Yet that was in stark contrast with her job as a professional spy and assassin.

After his inquiry, there was a lengthy pause, during which she did not turn around to face him.

Eventually, she replied in a measured tone, “Sometimes.”

She obviously did not wish to insist on such a tense subject, but he was not going to be deterred. He had managed to make her give an answer to one of his questions, he was not going to waste this opportunity of finding out more about her.

“You don’t seem to like your boss, yet you still work for him.”

It wasn’t phrased as a question, but he was fairly confident that she was going to give a reply nonetheless. Pushing her a bit was going to be beneficial, as he had learned throughout those three and a half months of living together with her.

She shrugged a little, and then did indeed give him a careful reply.

“I don’t kill people for sport, but because they are threats. I work for the government, as does Kiritsugu, therefore I think that completing my tasks is more important than indulging in my dislike for him.”

To her surprise, he chuckled, bemused by her words. He was delighted to see a brief flash of embarrassment cross her features, but was even more delighted when she stifled it by questioning him as well.

“Why do _you_ work for Kirei?”

He was casual and sardonic in his tone, even though an almost imperceptible shadow crossed his features, “I don’t really care about what I do in my job – I’m just the best at it.”

Out of every reply he could have expected, her giving him a very strange look was not one of them.

She then said, offhandedly, “This only means that you are empty, and what you do is meaningless.”

He was very good at concealing the fact that her blunt statement had taken him aback, and he dodged the thorny situation by asking her, his tone noticeably harsher, “Do you believe yourself to be a good person?”

The silence was much shorter this time around.

“I don’t. But I believe I am balanced, and I accept myself.” Her green eyes were hard on his crimson ones. “You, instead, are _not_ , I can tell.”

She took a step closer to him. “I can only make guesses, but my guess is that you are probably being used because of your talents. I’ve seen how skilled you are, how deadly and astonishingly perfect your capabilities are. Yet I can also see how fake your carelessness is.”

She took another step forward, not knowing that he was rapidly becoming enraged. “The organization you are part of is merely using y–”

“ _Shut up_.”

His words came out in a hiss, and the glare he directed at her silenced her immediately.

For the first time since being in this woman’s presence, Gilgamesh was furious. She may be amusing, she may have become interesting, but she had no right to open her mouth on subjects that had nothing to do with her.

“You know absolutely _nothing_ ,” he growled, his eyes flashing dangerously.

He could see that she was aware of the very real threat he was currently posing to her, she knew that she was consciously putting herself in a very perilous position, but she still continued, as undeterred as he had been earlier.

“If what I said wasn’t close to the truth, you wouldn’t let it affect you. If what I said was false, you wouldn’t care, and you would laugh at me.” He could see her fingers trembling slightly, but she closed her hands into fists and went on, “Yet you don’t like people you consider beneath you pointing out truths to you.”

She had said many things that had made his blood boil, but her last words made his anger subside, at least for the moment.

He stared at her, drinking in her determined expression, her guardedness yet also the stubborn tenacity that had made her reach this point completely unafraid of him.

He had been mistaken. She was not merely good-looking; she was beautiful.

“I don’t consider you beneath me.”

The admission escaped him almost unconsciously, without giving him the time to control himself, and before he could begin to question his sanity once again, he kissed her, hard.

…

~~.O.~~

…

A few days later, they had to begin the first real part of the operation.

Arturia still hadn’t said a word to him after he had kissed her, unless it was something related to their job, and even then, it was said formally and without looking at him.

Gilgamesh did not care about her silence, as he knew they had to focus and having any kind of unrelated conversation would be a distraction. Besides, in spite of his better judgement, he kept thinking about her words far too often already.

Since they had discovered that the security personnel had two independent rotations, they intended to use this to their advantage by causing some harmless damage to one of the most protected areas. Believing it to be in danger, the guards would intensify controls there, which would give them later the opportunity to sneak in through one of the other entrances.

Things began fairly smoothly, but they soon found out that two extra guards had been placed next to the inner doors, and they were ready to use their Tasers on Arturia when they entered the building silently.

Before they could do so, however, Gilgamesh shot them. He could see that she had taken out her gun as well, and she would have been able to defend herself, but he had intervened anyway. Arturia gave him an astonished look, and he simply loaded his gun again before rapidly pulling her inside one of the first rooms they needed to examine.

Smirking slightly at her, he leaned closer to murmur in her ear, “We are partners in this, however much you may dislike me.”

The next second, he pushed her down as a bullet flew over their heads. She merely raised a hand and swiftly took down their attacker with a single shot, not missing the target.

After checking their surroundings, she stood up first, offering him her hand to get up as well.

“I don’t dislike you,” she simply replied to his statement, then added, “Not anymore.”

They silently walked through the building, finding the correct room they were looking for, and after unlocking the first door, they had to wait thirty seconds to prevent the trap mechanism from sealing the second door.

During this time gap, he gave her a grin. “Not anymore, hmm? You can certainly be charming.”

She rolled her eyes at him and opened the second door. As they both knew, the files they were looking for were not there; they were only going to be brought to the room a few days later, and therefore they needed to install a few important devices in the meantime, to make the actual stealing much easier, once the final part of the operation began.

Ensuring that all the traces of their passage disappeared, they briefly examined the other corridors and rooms – Gilgamesh looked at the windows with particular interest – before making their way to the exit.

…

~~.O.~~

…

As they had planned, when coming back to the small apartment they ended their stay there, moving everything out to another place, much further away, mostly for safety reasons. They did not know how the final operation was going to turn out, therefore they needed to be prepared to flee without leaving any hints in the area.

To Gilgamesh’s displeasure, the bed did not seem to be much more comfortable in this other apartment, but there wasn’t the possibility to complain about this one either.

Keeping the outline of the building in mind, they finished drawing the maps of it, choosing the precise angles of the route they were going to take later on to break inside once again. Both remained leaning over the plans for hours, discussing what to do and how to act if anything should go differently than planned, if they were cornered, if they got separated, if they were killed.

After much thinking, they decided that it was best to already start the mission by being separated, to increase their chances of success.

They knew that using the same entrance they had chosen during the first operation was suicidal, as it was now too heavily guarded. However, they had learned that there were different cleaners who were regularly allowed inside the building; therefore, Arturia had believed it best to disguise herself as one of them. Gilgamesh had instead examined the windows of the first floor from inside and chosen one he believed was less secure, which he was going use to enter.

They were going to rendezvous in one of the main corridors, from which they would reach the security room together. It was inevitable for them both to enter it, because it was the condition the agency and the organization had given them on the recovery of the files: they had to complete the mission _together_ , to prove that they had not tried to double-cross one another.

They also discussed their routes of escape, which were again to be separated; they were going to meet only once, outside, to confirm that they were alive and had the files, and then they would part ways.

They were not going to come back to any of their apartments afterwards, and they were not going to see each other again once the mission ended.

Since it was going to be in four short days, they made sure to have enough food and enough equipment and everything else ready so that they would no longer need to be seen outside.

…

~~.O.~~

…

The final part of the operation was going to take place three days later.

Arturia was leaning on the plans once again, re-checking everything for the umpteenth time. Gilgamesh knew that the plan they had come up with was going to work, because aside from having considered all the possible options, they had devised it together.

He could not bring himself to tear his eyes off her. They had been living together for almost four months, and even though it had all been about a foolish mission, he had the strange, unfamiliar feeling that he could get used to such a life.

To a life shared with _her_.

Yet he knew that if he wanted such a thing, he needed to take care of a part of his own real life first.

He had to get rid of Kirei, because Arturia had not spoken idly, she had put her finger on the truth, and that was why it had stung. The mongrel was using him; and as if that wasn’t enough, Gilgamesh was _letting_ his lowly boss use him.

If he wanted something different for himself, he needed to get rid of that oppressive mongrel, together with all his underlings.

Arturia seemed to feel his eyes on herself after a while, and she lifted her head to stare back at him. He leaned forward, and without hesitation, pressed his lips against hers.

This time, she was slightly less surprised by the sudden kiss; or at least, that was what he surmised when, after less than a second, she responded.

…

~~.O.~~

…

Gilgamesh found out that her bed was much more comfortable than his, although he suspected that having Arturia in his arms played a part in his preference for it.

He wasn’t the type to make wishes, but he did find himself wishing to be able to stay with her longer. He enjoyed the following day, not allowing either of them to leave the bed for long, because after all, they had several weeks worth of subtle but strong sexual tension to take care of.

He also did not want to think too much, because if he started thinking he would always look at the future with distaste, as he had plans for it, but executing said plans was going to take a long while.

It could take, at the very least, a few years, perhaps even more; and he could not ask Arturia to come with him, nor could he keep contact with her during that period. The people in Kirei’s organization were vile and dangerous, and while Arturia was strong and was more than capable of being a lethal assassin, she could not navigate that disgusting world as Kirei had made him learn to do. Besides, Gilgamesh would not tolerate to subject her to it either way.

However, he still needed to tell her what he had in mind.

…

~~.O.~~

…

When he did tell her, two days before the operation – and after they had both gotten dressed again – she was _livid_.

Even though she did not know the particulars, she was clever enough to understand that he would risk his life. Of course Gilgamesh didn’t have the slightest intention of dying, but he knew that it was going to take skill and carefulness to remain alive nonetheless, and therefore, in some ways, he could understand her fury. After all, it hid her worry.

He did not like to see her worried, but there was little he could do to calm her aside from _proving_ that he was going to come back alive. Therefore, he told her that he _was_ going to come back.

He made however a mistake; it was only one, but it was a serious mistake. He forgot to make sure that she knew it was a promise.

For him, it was obviously a promise; but _she_ didn’t know that.

After that conversation was over, they did not talk again, nor did they share the bed anymore.

Their plans were ready; every factor had been considered, everything had been detailed carefully – they only had to go through with it all.

And they were too experienced to let anything go wrong.

…

~~.O.~~

…

As expected, everything went smoothly.

They were both in the room when they recovered the stolen files, and as they had planned, they parted ways, neither of them looking back.

But Gilgamesh wasn’t ready to simply let it end there. He had made a promise, a promise he meant and that he intended to keep with everything he had.

He had the resources, he had the qualifications to leave his current lifestyle and cut ties with his job. He was going to get rid of every single mongrel that was going to dare try to stop him, of anything and anyone who would be in the path that would lead him back to the woman he had come to love.

He was going to be together with her again.

Whatever kind of subterfuge he was going to have to use to destroy Kirei’s organization, he would do it.

Whatever it took, he was going be back together with her, and when he did, he was never going to leave her again.

…

~~.O.~~

…


End file.
